In honor of May being Asian Pacific Heritage month, I’m going to write about my identity, reflect on my values, and how my culture has impacted (and continues to impact) my upbringing.
I’ve been lucky enough to grow up with friends that look like me and like me, are 1st generation (first generation in their families to be born in America) and with that I’ve never had to question being different. I had the surrounding that provided the reassurance and support as I grew to understand, accept, and define my cultural identity.
I’ll save the “Growing up First Generation Asian-American in the Real World” writing for another post.
Both my grandmas are pictured above. The left is my dad’s mom w/ all my cousins and the right photo is my mom’s mom surrounded by her daughters (my aunts) and myself (granddaughter).
I will never be able to fully grasp the struggles, pain, and fear my grandmas went through when they gathered their families and left their home countries (Cambodia and Vietnam) during the war — Khmer Rouge and Vietnam War, respectively. Coming to America, not to make their lives easier, but to sacrifice their comfort to create a better life for the next generation … my generation.
My generation has our own types of struggles. The struggle to define what it means to be Asian-American, feeling stuck in the middle. Do we hurry and assimilate to the American Culture or do we stay rooted in our families’ traditions? I wish it was easy to find a balance back then.
Growing up, I’ve tried so hard to fit in or determine what it’s like to fit in. Begging my mom to buy me that $50 Hollister sweater and wishing I had soccer practice instead of having to attend Chinese school after “English” school. And now here I am, desperately trying to hold on to my slowing fading Cantonese and Khmai (Cambodian).
Most importantly though – today, at age 26, I can confidently say that I am proud of who I am, even prouder of my family’s histories, and vow to continue to share stories and cultural celebrations with my next generation.
Values.
Family – Family is everything, they are all you will need and we should no matter the circumstances, be there for each other. Celebrate the good and bad together, have dinner together collectively at the dinner table, share stories of success and mistakes. Accept close friendships like they’re family. And always respect the elders.
Hardwork – Don’t complain and work hard. Anything you do, you better be putting your 100%.
Respect – Treat others the way you’d like to be treated. Don’t waste your energy being negative towards others, don’t spend energy on jealousy, and don’t wish bad upon anyone. Respect the space your in, respect your time as well as others, and be courteous towards everyone as you don’t know their stories and struggles.
