If you’re planning a wedding that follows the western/American traditions and contemplating if it’s worth the extra planning to incorporate cultural traditions, then this post will provide some perspectives on the tea ceremony, table visits, and celebrating other traditions!
Integrating the Tea Ceremony
The tea ceremony is a part of many Asian cultures where the couple serves tea to their parents and other elders as a way of showing respect & gratitude, in exchange for blessings, advice, and wishes on the marriage. This signifies welcoming the couple to the respective families and unifies the families.
Honoring this was so important not just for our families, but also for us.
Incorporating into your Timeline
Tea ceremonies can be done either as a standalone or as part of a larger celebration making the timeline flexible. Through my experience, I’ve seen it being incorporated in various ways but these are the 3 best options.
Option: Tea Ceremony Before the Wedding
Tea Ceremonies may take up to 2-4 hours depending on the size of your families. Having the ceremony before the wedding date (either the day before or weekend prior) is a great option to ensure you’re not under pressure of a tight timeline.
Pros:
- Location flexibility: you have the option to follow the traditions of celebrating the tea ceremony at your families’ homes
- Timing: no added pressure of a tight timeline & you can enjoy the time with your families
Cons:
- Family availability: it can be difficult for family members and friends to request additional dates off work to accommodate all the celebrations
- Vendors: there will be additional costs to hire photographers, videographers, makeup & hair for the extra day
Option: Tea Ceremony on the Same Wedding Day
We had family traveling in so the best option was to celebrate our Tea Ceremony on the morning of our wedding. We rented out the Banquet Room at our hotel & started the ceremony after we got ready.
The hotel gave us access to decorate the room the night before the big day. They also offered catering options, free coffee and tea, and had provided all of the table & chairs for free.
This option worked out perfectly for us!
My friends celebrated the Tea Ceremony at their venue a few hours before they walked down the aisle. Other friends were able to incorporate the Tea Ceremony during cocktail hour before the reception. Both these options worked out perfectly for them.
Pros:
- Travel & Availability: Your friends & family won’t need to plan additional days off
- Vendors: As the bride, you’ll already have your hair & makeup done by your beauty vendors. And the option to have your photographer & videographer available to capture the memories
Cons:
- Logistics & Location: You’ll need to plan for the travel time that it will take if you’re having the tea ceremony at a different location than your venue
- Timeline: Depending on the length and number of family members, it can feel rushed
Overall, if you’re thinking about the cultural celebrations, I’d recommend doing it! It ended up being an intimate, special moment with our families and are memories I’ll cherish. Feel encouraged to discuss with your parents the options you can do to integrate your culture into your American Wedding Day.
Table Visits
Table visits are where the newly married couple visits each table during the reception to greet & thank them. This makes each person feel personally welcomed & included in the celebration. Specifics can vary depending on the culture, but they all provided the couple an opportunity to create memorable interaction.
Honoring Khmer Culture
We honored my Cambodian culture by wearing the traditional Khmer Wedding attire for the table visits. This was a special way to show respect for the culture and celebrating with our guests.
It was an easy and beautiful way to integrate our cultures and our families loved it!
The wedding day is to celebrate your love and there are many different ways this day can look and feel. It doesn’t have the be a “specific way” or meet a certain timeline. Feel encouraged to change around events to meet what you both want!
Love, Shayna
